kirk327

Attention friends and newcomers to my gallery. If you didn't know before now, I am accepting paid commissions to post here onto DA. Before the end of last year, I posted a general outline on what I'm willing to do. At the time I am posting this, I am putting the finishing touches on my first commission, and with this first commission came a few ideas and accommodations that I'll be adding to my official standard guidelines. For all the original information on that, click the link to the journal below.

And now, here are the updates.

1. The commissions I'm accepting are primarily short stories which can be anywhere between 1 and 10 pages. Before I agree to do a commission, I charge a standard $10 down payment, and then an additional $10 per page if the story is SFW, or $15 per page if it's NSFW. I've been thinking about what I can do to make commissioning from me more affordable to you guys, and something that I've decided upon is letting you set the terms for how long you want the stories to be so the commissions only cost what you know you're willing to pay. And as an additional FYI, all payments will be made through Paypal, which I will only share with people I have accepted commissions from.

2. This brings me to my second big change, and that's respecting privacy. In addition to pitching me your requested commissions, please tell me if you are okay with me saying in the commission descriptions that you requested the commission or if you would prefer to remain anonymous. I will not share any information that you don't want me to.

3. This is more on the side of caution, particularly if anyone decides to commission me to do a NSFW story, but in case whatever commissions I post get deleted from here, I will also be posting them onto my Archive of Our Own account, as well as on a special server on my Discord page. I go by JungleBoy1996 on Archive of Our Own; and Kirk the Jungle Swinger on Discord, but when you search for me there, type kirk327#1192.

All right. Those are all the major updates that I'm adding to my commission policies. I don't know if these are the only updates I will have to make or if I will have to make more in the future, but I will always keep you guys in the know either way. I will also keep you updated on my current employment situation so you know how I am doing financially. I am still working the seasonal position I got at the end of last year, but the end date for it is unknown, though I am hoping to secure something more permanent soon.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and always remember. Don’t have a good day; have a great day. Also, have a happy new year, everybody.

The following journal will be pinned for better ease of access.

Hello, everyone. I wanted to save this for the end of the week, but depending on how busy I end up being, I might not get the chance to post this tomorrow and I don't want to end the year without sharing what I have to discuss.

Roughly two to three months ago, I posted a few status updates letting people know that I would have to prepare myself for my new job at the time. The job was an office position and it paid pretty well too. Unfortunately, it was a temporary position and didn't last nearly as long as projected by my career advisor and the agency that got me the job in the first place. Suffice it to say, they ran out of work to keep me employed and I got let go on December 2nd. In the weeks since then, I was able to get a new position, this time one at a warehouse, but it is much more stressful work for me and I'm making $2 less than I did with my last office job. To make matters worse, this job is also temporary and is expected to end some time in April of 2024.

Now I'm already looking for work that I would be more comfortable doing, but I am legitimately concerned for myself, since I now have to think about how I can pay for rent. Something I am considering is offering to let people commission me to write short stories. While I have done commissions before, they were for DA points, but this time, it would be for actual money sent to me through Paypal. I know that on its own, this isn't a sustainable way to make money to pay the bills, but I figured it could help with making some extra cash while I am working and looking for a more suitable position. However, I am in need of some help and advice.

As of right now, I am inexperienced with arranging these sorts of transactions between myself and my potential commissioners. Though this is an arrangement I am willing to commit to, I would like to strike a good balance between earning a reasonable amount of money but without screwing anyone over. While this is subject to change, depending on any feedback I get, this is my first consideration.

What I am thinking of is having a standard down payment fee of $10 and then charging additional money for each page I write for the commissioned short stories. How much I would charge would vary depending on whether the stories are SFW or NSFW; I would personally prefer to write more of the former, but I would be fine to write some NSFW stuff within reason. I think a good system would be $10 for each new page of a SFW commission and $15 for each new page of a NSFW commission.

Now I understand with these prices, the charges could go up beyond affordability for some people. In order to avoid that happening, I am thinking of limiting each commission to a length of 1 to 10 pages each; since NSFW commissions will cost more, I may lower the number depending on what you guys think. In any case, I will avoid writing beyond 10 pages unless whoever is commissiong me is willing to pay for additional pages, but I see this as being more of a case by case basis.

With that out of the way, I would like to establish a few other important things to keep in mind when considering a commission from me first and foremost, I will not include content that I usually try to avoid. In the case of NSFW stuff, I will not write stories that include blood, gore, sex, abuse, incest, rape, etc. For more general information, should people ask me to write stories with OCs, original characters, of theirs, I would need them to provide me with an image for reference on what your characters look like, along with any available information about those characters. Furthermore, I will make a good effort throughout the week to complete your commissions, except for Sundays, as I work a standard Mon-Fri shift most of the time. I would also like people to limit themselves to one commission at a time from me; you're welcome to share more than one idea with me, but tell me which commissions you would want me to do first, as I want to give as many people the chance to get their ideas to me. And I think I will limit myself to ten commissions at any given time while having a waiting list set up if that time ever comes.

And perhaps most important of all, I do have Paypal, but the way to find me is through entering my email address, which is my real name @gmail.com. With this in mind, I must request that anyone wishing to commission a story from me send me their ideas by Notes for the sake of privacy. After we come to an agreeable arrangement, I will share with each of you my Paypal, but I must emphasize that you are not to share it with anyone else. It may seem overly cautious, but I do think it would be prudent to approach this with a decent level of discretion. I hope these terms are agreeable to anyone interested in commissioning me with something, and if you are one of those people reading this, I hope to hear from you soon.

One last thing. I know not everyone who has read this may be able to afford commissioning me for anything, either at the time of reading this or at all, but I would still like to ask a favor from you guys by sharing this journal with your friends here on DA. Your support in these trying times for me would go a long way and make a huge difference. For additional full disclosure, I will continue to keep you all updated about my current employment situation so you have up to date information as to how I'm doing. As I have said already, this would mean a lot to me if I could have your help on this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and always remember. Don’t have a good day; have a great day. Also, have a happy new year, everybody.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

(Night has fallen over England, and Sir Integra is sitting in her study, examining an old report.)

INTEGRA: So strange. Barely a week has gone by since Seras dealt with that assailant on Tower Bridge. And yet somehow, I can’t help but believe the danger has not entirely passed yet.

(Just as Integra prepares to put the document away, her attention drifts to the ceiling, where she sees the light above her head flicker before going out. Before she has time to process this, a green pillar of flame erupts in front of her, which dissipates to reveal Spawn standing before her. Despite the surprise from his sudden appearance, Integra maintains a calm composure as Spawn advances toward her.)

SPAWN: Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. You are harboring a repulsive monster who has evaded too long to answer for his sins.

INTEGRA: Yes, he’s still working on that part. What’s it to you?

SPAWN: You will hand him over to me at once to deliver him to his overdue eternal damnation. Or I will destroy this entire estate along with you to end him.

INTEGRA: Interesting ultimatum. But, flattered as I am for you to deal with me directly, perhaps you should instead deliver your threat to your intended target. Did you get all that, Alucard?

(Through the wall directly behind Integra, Alcaurd walks into the study, glancing from Integra to Spawn and back to Integra.)

ALUCARD: My, my, Master. I was not aware you were expecting company of the hellish variety this evening.

INTEGRA: I was not. This, Alucard, as I am sure you must have figured out on your own, is what we call an intruder. And you know how I feel about intruders.

ALUCARD: Is this going where I think this is going?

INTEGRA: Quite right. Escort him off my property, preferably without breaking anything.

(Alucard performs a mock bow to Integra but keeps his eyes trained on Spawn.)

ALUCARD: Your wish is my command. So then, big guy. Shall we take this outside?

SPAWN: Whatever you say. Makes no difference to me one way or the other.

ALUCARD: It seems we’ve reached an understanding. Good evening to you, Master.

(Alucard approaches Spawn and grasps his hand. Spawn nods in acknowledgement before a pillar of fire, identical to the one he appeared in, rises beneath them, sending them away. When both fiends are gone, Integra sighs with resignation.)

INTEGRA: I just know this is going to cause one big mess for me to clean up later.

(Meanwhile, Spawn teleports himself and Alucard to the top of Big Ben. There, they stare each other down, an undercurrent of tension building up between them.)

SPAWN: You know why I’ve come?

ALUCARD: I got the gist back home. So, you’re the next big shot who wants to take a crack at me. Normally, fellow vampires are my personal bread and butter, but monsters come in all shapes and forms. One must be ready for any threat, no matter how unnatural.

SPAWN: Tonight, only one of us is walking away from this. And there’s a special place in hell with your name on it.

ALUCARD: Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched. You want me down there so badly? You’ll have to work for it.

SPAWN: Fine with me. More fun me when you fiends play hard to get.

Sometimes life feels way more stressful than it should be. In times like this, something to give me a good laugh can go a long way to help me feel better, and I hope the same is true for the rest of you. Here's something that has never failed to put a smile on my face

Context: Sorry if the text up top sounded down. I've still been having a hard time finding full-time employment. I'm trying to use today as a day of escapism from that stress and felt like putting on this funny video. But to try and bounce back, I thought it would be fun to share the laughs I enjoyed just now on here as well.

As someone who has had Dungeons and Dragons on the brain for the last few months, I've taken time to reflect on what D&D content I've enjoyed the most from what I've found on YouTube. Most of the following examples post a lot of D&D content while others have done it as more of a side thing but have still provided me with a lot of funny and memorable viewing experiences. Here are seven of my favorite D&D YouTube videos I found from different channels that I quite enjoyed watching, and I hope you guys enjoy them too.

Lego D&D: Hoard of the Dragon Queen - Part 1 - YouTube

What I liked about this video was the fact that this content creator used Lego figures to illustrate everything that was happening in the video. Legos are one of the few toys that I still like to collect and play with every once in a while, so this was a treat for me. Not to mention, the campaign detailed here was for Hoard of the Dragon Queen, which I joined a group for once back in the day. Easily my favorite characters from this party are Toto the Minotaur Paladin and especially Karl the Lizard Folk, the latter of whom got me motivated to test out play as a Lizard Folk in future campaigns.

Among Us: But its Dungeons & Dragons - YouTube

Although this channel is cutting down on how frequently it posts new content, I still enjoy his older content for what it is. I think this guy does a great job performing as a one-man show, which isn't always easy to pull off successfully. But all his videos work for me because of how enthusiastic he comes off with each of these videos.

First DnD Sessions always end like this | comic by DoodlePoodle - YouTube

This was a more recent discovery of mine, and as someone who loves a good comic dub, I just had to add this one here. As a comic dub, the videos in this series are pretty short, but what they lack in runtime is made up for a super fun sense of humor that makes me laugh every time. Also, I'm sure there must be someone out there somewhere who has found themselves in this situation at least once. XD

D&D Story: Spoopy Halloween One-Off (ooOOOoooo!!!) [Fool's Gold] - YouTube

What separates Dingo Doodles from the rest for me is how good of a storyteller Dingo is. What starts as a simple and humorous collection of misadventures starring a talking monkey that can do magic turns into a long journey filled with emotional character development and amazing story depth. Somehow, Dingo finds a great compromise between funny and traumatic and makes it work so well.

Adopting an NPC in D&D - YouTube

When it comes to D&D satires, no one does them better than Deerstalker Pictures. Between the individual chaos that comes with the lead trio of their One for All series, accompanied by the many appearances of their recurring guest characters, there's plenty of fun to be had. But what serves as the cherry on top is the acting from the guy who plays the role of the DM, as he is always inserted as a wide range of characters the party encounters, from random NPCs minding their own business to various villains and monsters. Seriously, the people who work on these videos are some of the most talented YouTubers from the Land Down Under.

Everything You Need to Know About Oxventure D&D | Season 1 + 2 Recap - YouTube

If I had to pick my personal favorite real-life DM, first prize would have to go to Johnny Chiodini. He is an amazing DM who does a great job keeping his campaigns functioning at all times while keeping everything fun and engaging for the players. No better is this shown in his ongoing campaigns and sessions with the YouTubers from the sister channels Outside Xbox and Outside Xtra, five hilarious men and women who make a living posting videos talking about video games. As resourceful video games with a reputation for solving problems in game with creative and unorthodox methods, their playstyles have very much integrated into how they play their characters and it shows. Sadly, it would take too long to talk about just one of their adventures, so here's a little summary to give you an impression of what this party's adventures are like.

Narrated D&D Story: How A Player Managed To Outwit A Bad Dungeon Master - YouTube

A common thing I found on YouTube over the years are simple narrated stories about the highlights of different people's campaigns. Easily one of my top contenders for best story narrator, though, is the guy behind the making of All Things DnD. He just has a good storytelling voice that makes me want to listen to every story he retells, most, if not all, of the stories in his videos are provided to him by his viewers on his reddit page. While most of the stories he shares are fun and lighthearted, I appreciate how he also shares stories from people who were facing serious issues or going through a hard time IRL. And every now and then, he provides multiple short stories in the same video, such as the above example.

And those are my picks for my seven favorite YouTubers who have provided me with some of the funniest D&D content I've had the pleasure to watch. What do you guys think? Were any of these people familiar to you? Was there anyone new that you hadn't seen before? Anyone have their own recommendations on what to check out? Let me know as I am always looking for more peoples' content to enjoy and watch on the small screen. Have a good day and remember: your next Natural 20 is just around the corner. :)